FT4W (Fuck the Fourth Wall) An RPG (Ridiculous Pony Game) Story
by CrazyBloodMoon
Summary: Spike and Twilight Wake up VERY different in a new world, a new time, and a new theme... how will our Heroes cope with new powers? new abilities? new character Classes! (Twilight): WHAT! (ME):Nothing, now get back in the story, you KNOW youre not allowed on the front page. (Twilight):Guuuh! Fine. ... Rated M for Sexual scenes, swearing, bloody violence, and Rampant Dice Rolling.


So to those of whom have followed me for a while... THANK you. Yes, I DID drop off the face of the world, yes, I DID loose my inspiration for a good long while, and YES! I AM BACK! Now, I know you're all used to something Evangelion-ish... and you're right, but I had this at a thought, and now I GOTTA do something with it. So without any further distraction, I bring you my latest story:

FT4W: an RPG Story

(Fuck The Fourth Wall: a(n) Ridiculous Pony Game Story)

"Rolll the diiiiiice..." A shadowy voice croaked to the silence.

"Huh...? W-wait, what? What Dice?" 'A small, purple figure asked to the blackness... he was still trying to get his bearings, the last thing he remembered-'

"I SAID ROLL THE DAMN DICE!"

"Waaaah!" '-like I was saying, the last thing he remembered was-'

"Seriously? I said it twice, and you're STILL rambling on about the back story?"

"W-wait, what are you TALKING about?" '-was going into Twilight's basement in her new castle to take inventory! There! I finished, Happy now?!'

"Yes." 'The shadowy voice smiled... er-, well I mean, we ASSUME its smiling, I did say it was all black earlier-' "SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY! SPIKE, ROLL THE DAMN DICE!"

"OK OK! I'm rolling the dice, Jeez!" 'The small dragonling, more than likely too young to be playing this game, let ALONE in an M rated story-' "Cut the crap man! You're gonna get him to yell again!" '… sorry... the small dragon rolled the dice... that seemingly appeared out of nowhere... and disappeared into nowhere.'

"Ah, yes, good good..." The big ugly, overbearing voice- "Are we REALLY gonna do this RIGHT now?!" … … … 'no...' "THANK you! LIKE I was SAYING. This is all perfect! Sir-Spike, you are a Noble Knight! Exceptional with a broad sword, fairly well versed in many other kinds of bladed weaponry. Your roll merits a size bonus! You are now 4"7' (4 foot 7 inches) and start with medium armor, a broad sword of fair quality, and the best of your rolls: An invincible shield!"

"Um... yay? I think? I mean, what good does any of that-"

"BUT BE WARNED! Although the shield is invincible, YOU are NOT. If you are hit by a juggernaut with a battle hammer, your shield will remain unharmed, however, you WILL be thrown back just the same as if he had hit you unshielded."

"... soooo... its pretty much useless..."

"W-What? I said no such thing! You twist my words with your foul tongue!"

"Naaah nah nah, see, you just told me it will act as if I'm unshielded. Then why even bother? I mean-"

"SILENCE! I'll give a better example then... if you block a sword, it will never break. If you are shot, it will never break, however if the attack has enough force to throw you back, it doesn't stop the force, just the penetration." the shadowy voice quickly covered up its previous horrible example- "Hey! Stop that!"

"Ssssoooooo..." She small dragon spoke again, "Its basically just acts like a normal Shield... but it cant be damaged?"

"W-well, I didn't say it couldn't-"

"A-hem, I do believe you said invincible? As in: Unbreakable? Unscratchable? Undestroyable? un-"

"OK OK! I GET IT! Jeez... you know what, just for the attitude, I'm making your armor a color that goes terrible with your scales!" The big bully of a voice shot back at the poor defenseless child of a dragon, the shame on his name is so great, that- "SHUT UP! Now I'm gonna make it even MORE clashing!"

"Wait, WHAT?!"

"Next roller!"

"And again I say: Wait WHAT?!" The little dragon shouted as he faded into the darkness...

–-

"Rolll the diiiiceceee..." The pompous, big headed, half brain-dead- "Oh for the love of-!"

"Ooookay then... clearly you two have some issues here sooo I guess I'll just be leaving here... where exactly is here? I came down here to look for spike and then... well then all this happened..."

"Oh... my... Celestia... She just took your job bro." I KNOW THAT! you don't have to rub it in! Jeez...

"Um... right here you know..." I KNOW! Sheesh... just roll the dice already.

"OK, now you're stealing my job man!" Sorry... just got a little carried away there... "Yeah, no shit"

Crackling noises interrupted the argument... "Hmm... not a bad roll if I do say so myself. Lot of high numbers."

"Ooooohhh, bad luck princess! You rolled up as a secondary character to the story!"

"WHAAAAAAT?!" Yeah, shes mad bro.

"Yup, you're a healing mage with minor healing abilities, minimal offensive and defensive capabilities, and a semi skimpy outfit."

"But HOW?! I mean, I rolled all high!" ohhh here it comes...

"Yeah, babes, see that's not how these rolls work. Each number represents a certain skill, ability, or trait. Going numerically, 6 is the last, and therefor the worst off all the skill sets." He puts way too much time into this shit.

"Oh really... then show me the chart!"

"What? NO!"

"Then how do I know you're not just making all this up as you go?!" Huh... she has a point there-

"SILENCE! NEXT ROLLER!"

"What?! But- AAAAHHHhhhhhh!" as Twilight fades off into the distance... by the way, there is no next roller.

"Wait what? But- AAAAHHHHhhhhhhhh!" as the big scary voice fades into the distance... MAN I love my job!

"uhg... gnuuuunhg... what... what happened...?" Spike said, finally coming out of his sleep. "And who the hell ARE you? I mean, you're like some... disembodied story voice or something." … wow... that... that was actually right on the money... yeah, I'll be here through pretty much the entire story. "What about that other voice?" Oh him? He's gone. That was Intro voice. I'm the actual story voice. "Oh... well... Okay then. I guess that isn't SO bad-"

"Oh Spike! Thank goodness you're ok!"

http(colon backslash backslash) .net(backslash) fs70(Backslash) f(Backslash) 2012(Backslash) 040(Backslash) b(Backslash) e(Backslash) cure(Underscore) twilight(Underscore) sparkle(Underscore) by(Underscore) obscuresaku(dash) (Trust me, the next few parts will make way more sense if you do that link, just get rid of the spaces and replace the (words) with what they need to be replaced by.

"WAAAAAHHHH! Twilight! You're hot?!"

"W-Exactly what is THAT supposed to mean?!" Twilight clearly hadn't looked in a mirror yet. "Who the hell are YOU?!"

"He's the narrator, not the dickish one, the cool one... wait, why did I say that?" Cause I told you to. "Sooo... you could make us do ANYTHING you wanted to?" well yes, but this is YOUR story, and, to a lesser extent, Twilight's. "Uhuh... so now what-" As twilight looked in the mirror.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhh! I'm a SLUT! I'm hideous! Horrible! Despicable! I'd NEVER be allowed into a library like this!" Well... I think it doesn't look to bad... "YOU DON'T COUNT PERVERT! OOOW! Why did I just slap myself?!" No reason. No reason at all.

"Well... to be fair... it's really cute Twi..."

"THATS NOT HELPING!" Yeah she's still pissed. "YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE I'M PISSED!"

"Um... Twi?" Said the not so small purple dragon, "Wait, not so small? Since when?" you were about to say something? "Oh! Right! Twi, how is this slutty, I mean, usually you don't wear ANYTHING, so how is this any worse?"

There was an awkward silence as- "SHUT UP ALREADY! Ok, ok, think... think... think... you're of course right Spike... but still... … … ok, now to bring up a few key topics... what the hell are these?" She flexes her HANDS as she asks this at the roof, for some reason or another. "Wait, so you're not upwards? I can just ask looking anywhere?" Yes. "And these are hands? How do they work?" Same as Spikes claws. "Oh well aren't you helpful." Twilight said as her clothes slowly started to disappear- "I TAKE IT BACK! Seriously, this ISN'T funny!" as her clothes reappear, as if by some unexplainable narrator magic. "... Well that was about as subtle as a Shotgun..." Ok, That was funny, so Ill let it slide!

"So... what do I look like now?" spike turned from the bed, and his feet miraculously were toughing the ground before he hopped off the bed! "Holy Shit! I'm tall!"

"That's... a really short bed Spike..."

"Twilight... Let me have my moment, ok? Thank you." Spike stands up and feels heavy, not the heavy that comes after a too deep sleep, or too full stomach, but that of 'what the hell am I wearing?' "Ok, that was so vague it actually hurt. I'm just gonna look in the mirror now." O-oh... well ok then... do my job for me I guess...

"W-wow spike... that's... that's uhhh... … ..." Twilight blushed profusely- "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Spike stood in front of the mirror... and what he saw was NOT the dragonling he remembered...

http(colon backslash backslash) th00(dot (backslash) fs70(backslash) PRE(backslash) f(backslash) 2013(backslash) 349(backslash) e(backslash) a(backslash) armoured(Underscore) spike(Underscore) by(Underscore) ruberphoenix(Dash)

"Whoa... … … I'm... I'm..." A GOOFY GOOBER! "NO! I'm AWESOME! This is SO crazy, I actually look pretty bad ass!" … same thing if you think about it... "No. Just no. Don't even try."

"Ok spike, stop tormenting the narrator voice." Twilight Leveled up: Learned "Heal +1" "W-wait what? Um... ok? Thanks? Anyways, spike, we need to get our bearings now. I don't like not knowing where we are." As Twilight looked around, she saw a pamphlet laying on the night stand between their beds. "Well that was convenient..." She picked the pamphlet up and started to read: "You have been locked in this room with a limited amount of oxygen and only a few clues to find the key-" WOAH WOAH WOAH! wait a second! That is SO the wrong pamphlet! "Wait, what?" as the pamphlet disappeared, they could both hear a shuffling noise- ah, here it is- a new paper lay on the desk for the purple shaded woman to read. "... Seriously?" Yes. "Sigh, well alright. Lets see... One room: 50 bits/night, Alcohol: 3 bits/cup (total 18 bits), Dinner for 2: 15 Bits. Thank you for staying at the 'Light Wallet Inn'... … … I DONT HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY!" But as Twilight read the fine print: "Paid in full up front... … … Ok, NOW you're just making shit up as you go." You got a problem with that? "Nope. Not even gonna protest it." Good. "But... I do have ONE question... why did we have ANY kind of Alcohol?" Convenient plot device. "... Now that was just cheap. But I must say, quite effective."

"So when do we eat again? I'm starving." Holy Celestia kid! You should be hung over off your ass! You had 5 pints of beer!

"He WHAT?!" Yeeaaaah... your a light weight when it comes to the booze... you had one, puked 3 times, and passed out. He had a jolly good time chugging 5, Carrying your purple ass back here to your room, then knocked out on his own. "BUT HE'S A BABY!" WOMAN, have you LOOKED at him lately? I mean, not even 5 minutes ago you were blushing at him- "OK OK I GET IT!"

"So... now what? Food?" Drop it kid. "Food?" I said- "AND I SAID FOOD!" Ok, Ok! Jeez, don't bite the narrators head off man...

"Spike, I know you're a growing... er, grown, dragon-" Blushing. "Stop that. I know you're hungry, but after last night I'm not even sure we'll have enough for breakfast..." oh shit... I didn't even think about that one... "Yeah, thanks a bung Mr. … uh... Mr … What do we even call you anyways?" Ummm... … … Ill get back to you on that one... Hey look! Spike found a bag of gold under the bed! "Say what now?"

"Awesome! Lets see... 20 Bits! That's PLEANTY for some grub, right?" the dragon jingled the bag happily, thinking about the delicious, delicate, TENDER meat that was at this very moment being served with breakfast- "DUDE! You're making it worse!" Sorry.

"Uh, Spike? What were you doing looking under the bed in the first place?"

A long silence... "Uh... Convenient plot device?" NOW hes starting to get it! I'm so proud.

"Oh for Celestia's sake... Alright spike, lets go get something to eat then."

"YES!" the little- "Hey!" The dragon jumped for joy at the thought of food. Lets face it, waking up with absolutely ZERO memory of the bast few days works up QUITE the appetite.

"Uuuuhuh... Personal Experience?" … … … I'd rather not talk about it.

–-

So! That's the end for chapter 1! Lemme know what you-

"NOOOOOO! WHAT ABOUT MY BREAKFAAAAAST?!"

Look, Ill get to that in the next chapter Ok? I'll get right to it as soon as I'm-

"But I'm hungry NOW!"

Yikes! Ok, spikes getting angry and hungry, so I'm gonna wrap this up REALLY fast! Please Read and Review! Flames accepted but not appreciated-

"You BET there are gonna be flames if I don't get my breakfast soon!"

See you next time at breakfast! Which I'm gonna start writing RIGHT now to make sure spike doesn't burn me to death!

"Damn strait you are! Get on it, NOW!"

Shit! Later all! This is CrazyBloodMoon, and like a pair of balls in dry-ice, stay frosty!


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